Oh ... what to write??
Well, we have been waiting on news about what happened at the meeting with the other couple's lawyer and hadn't gotten word. And honestly I've been too chicken to call and ask ... until today.
So I got up the courage to call this morning. She told me that the birth mother has decided for sure to give consent for him to be adopted. A HUGE praise!! She has been going back and forth about it for a while and finally decided it was the right thing and that she is ready to go ahead with it.
However ... the other couple is going ahead with the adoption. I have no words to describe how deeply my heart is hurting. I thought that I had prepared myself for the fact that they were planning to adopt him. But apparently I was wrong. Maybe that's not something you can prepare yourself for.
I guess in the back of my mind I really thought they were going to back out. If God told us we were supposed to pursue this adoption then, of course, He would show the other couple - who is also seeking His will - that it wasn't the right thing for them, right? Wrong again!
I know that there are probably dozens things that could be reasons that God would have asked us to say "yes" to this when it seems He is not going to allow it to happen. Maybe He just wanted to test our willingess to obey? Maybe He wanted to work on our hearts? THAT He has done for sure. Maybe He wanted to use this to light a fire under us for getting all of our ducks in a row for our Ethiopian adoption even more quickly? Maybe He was wanting to prepare us for something else He has in store? (Maybe even another similar adoption. We're continuing the home study in the more complicated way that will allow us to be able to adopt from Ethiopia and domestically ... just in case.) Or maybe one of a myriad of other reasons we can't even imagine. "For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways," declares the LORD. "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and Mythoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9
What I do know is that I have been wondering for a while why lots of the things that I have been learning have been related to growing through the pain in our lives. I guess God knew I was going to need that one, huh? This is the second significant loss in my life in just over a month.
One thing I have learned for sure. If there was ever any doubt in my mind whether I could love a child who didn't grow inside of me as much as I love my others (which I don't really think there was) there definitely isn't now. I love this little guy so much, and I've never even met him ... just think if he had come to live with us for even a week.
On the one hand, I'm SO sad. But on the other hand, I''m so happy for him that he's going to have a family that loves him and loves God. I'm so happy that he will be in a home where he'll learn to love Jesus and grow up knowing that he is wanted and loved. Both by his adoptive parents and by his birth mom who loves him enough to want to do what's best for him even though it's got to be so hard for her.
I could probably go on and on for a long time about how I'm feeling about this. Just ask Cole (who's also so very sad), my sister, my mom and my dad who have all had to listen to me today. - Ya'll are awesome, by the way! - But I'll spare you. And honestly, this is about all the energy I've got left for today.
So ... please pray for this family, that God would work things out quickly for him to be able to go to his forever home as soon as possible.
And one last thing. One of my new favorite songs is Forever Reign by Kristian Stanfill. It came on while I was writing this, and it's definitely fitting in my life today.
The line that's most appropriate for today:
"Lord, I'm running to Your arms. I'm running to Your arms. The riches of Your love will always be enough. Nothing compares to Your embrace."
God, please let this be true in me!
Jul 29, 2011
Jul 18, 2011
Please Pray!
So ... over a month later, here I am. And just as a warning, this post might be long enough to make up for the whole last month. Just know what you're getting yourself into!
I expected to write often and keep you guys up to date with everything that is going on. But then the unexpected happened. (What else could happen really? I really never know what will happen, do I? A lesson I hope to learn one day. Note to self: "The mind of man plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps." Prov 16:9)
Anyway, I haven't known what, if anything, I should write about this ... so I just haven't.
But I've decided that we really need the prayers of whoever would be willing to pray for us, so here goes:
The day that I posted last, a sweet missionary aunt - for those who might not know, we missionary kids refer to other missionaries as our aunts and uncles because they really do become our family - sent me a message. She told me she was praying for us, and she wanted to let me know about a baby boy in her church who needs to be adopted!
Over the past few months, I have been keeping up with one of my sister's friend's blogs. She's an amazing lady, and her story has been such an encouragement and a challenge to me. (You can find the link to her blog "God is Up to Something" in my blog list. And, yes, I shamelessly stole one of the videos I posted from her.) She and her family are in the process of adopting another little girl from China. And a while back she posted about another girl who needs to be adopted, asking people to pray that God would send her her forever family. Then a few days later, she posted again saying that she had found one ... theirs. Wow, God really does do the unexpected!
God has also really been at work in both of our hearts ever since Passion in April of this year. We've been very challenged by David Platt's "Radical" and Francis Chan's "Crazy Love." And He's been bringing us to a deeper understanding of what it means to surrender entirely to Him. (Though by no means would we claim to actually fully understand it or to do it well, but we're learning.)
When you combine those two things, I think God has been preparing our hearts to go after something unexpected ... like adopting a little boy who is not quite nine months younger than Hayley and is from here instead of from Ethiopia. Oh, and to be adopting two little ones instead of just one!
Anyway, I asked her for more information, and she sent me the phone number for the relative he's staying with. I called her the next day and learned about this precious little boy who has been growing in my heart ever since.
I talked to Cole about it, and we began to pray. And we've prayed and prayed for almost a whole month, not wanting to go ahead with it just because we wanted to, but only if this was really what God was wanting us to do.
And then last Saturday I told Cole that I really wanted to go ahead with it and that I believed it was what we were supposed to do, and he said he had been feeling the same way since the beginning of the week. What?? Really?? Yes, really! So I called baby boy's relative to tell her we wanted to start the process.
Have I mentioned that God likes to do the unexpected? Well, that's when I found out that there's another couple who is looking into adopting him. So for a week we have been praying that God would do whatever He has in store for this little guy. Whatever will be best for him and for both families. My heart is broken at the thought of maybe not getting to adopt him, but I know that maybe that's not what would be best. We continue to pray that if it is though, He would somehow work that out. Because we really want to!
Today is a very important day as this other couple meets with their lawyer. Please pray that God will show them what they should do. Whether to continue to pursue it or not. And please pray that God would take care of our hearts whatever the result may be. And most of all, please pay that this precious little guy will be able to be united with his forever family, whichever one it ends up being, as soon as possible.
As far as what we're actually doing on the adoption front ... we've been filling out the paperwork for the home study. We haven't done it as quickly as we would have liked because we didn't know exactly what to put on there. Why are we wanting the home study? Well, to puruse the adoption from Ethiopia, but we didn't know whether to put anything about the other adoption or not ... and stuff like that. But we are hoping to be able to get all of our documents together to send to the home study agency by the end of the week. Please pray about that, too!
So that's the last month in our adoption journey in a very LARGE nutshell. I promise to keep you posted better from now on!
I expected to write often and keep you guys up to date with everything that is going on. But then the unexpected happened. (What else could happen really? I really never know what will happen, do I? A lesson I hope to learn one day. Note to self: "The mind of man plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps." Prov 16:9)
Anyway, I haven't known what, if anything, I should write about this ... so I just haven't.
But I've decided that we really need the prayers of whoever would be willing to pray for us, so here goes:
The day that I posted last, a sweet missionary aunt - for those who might not know, we missionary kids refer to other missionaries as our aunts and uncles because they really do become our family - sent me a message. She told me she was praying for us, and she wanted to let me know about a baby boy in her church who needs to be adopted!
Over the past few months, I have been keeping up with one of my sister's friend's blogs. She's an amazing lady, and her story has been such an encouragement and a challenge to me. (You can find the link to her blog "God is Up to Something" in my blog list. And, yes, I shamelessly stole one of the videos I posted from her.) She and her family are in the process of adopting another little girl from China. And a while back she posted about another girl who needs to be adopted, asking people to pray that God would send her her forever family. Then a few days later, she posted again saying that she had found one ... theirs. Wow, God really does do the unexpected!
God has also really been at work in both of our hearts ever since Passion in April of this year. We've been very challenged by David Platt's "Radical" and Francis Chan's "Crazy Love." And He's been bringing us to a deeper understanding of what it means to surrender entirely to Him. (Though by no means would we claim to actually fully understand it or to do it well, but we're learning.)
When you combine those two things, I think God has been preparing our hearts to go after something unexpected ... like adopting a little boy who is not quite nine months younger than Hayley and is from here instead of from Ethiopia. Oh, and to be adopting two little ones instead of just one!
Anyway, I asked her for more information, and she sent me the phone number for the relative he's staying with. I called her the next day and learned about this precious little boy who has been growing in my heart ever since.
I talked to Cole about it, and we began to pray. And we've prayed and prayed for almost a whole month, not wanting to go ahead with it just because we wanted to, but only if this was really what God was wanting us to do.
And then last Saturday I told Cole that I really wanted to go ahead with it and that I believed it was what we were supposed to do, and he said he had been feeling the same way since the beginning of the week. What?? Really?? Yes, really! So I called baby boy's relative to tell her we wanted to start the process.
Have I mentioned that God likes to do the unexpected? Well, that's when I found out that there's another couple who is looking into adopting him. So for a week we have been praying that God would do whatever He has in store for this little guy. Whatever will be best for him and for both families. My heart is broken at the thought of maybe not getting to adopt him, but I know that maybe that's not what would be best. We continue to pray that if it is though, He would somehow work that out. Because we really want to!
Today is a very important day as this other couple meets with their lawyer. Please pray that God will show them what they should do. Whether to continue to pursue it or not. And please pray that God would take care of our hearts whatever the result may be. And most of all, please pay that this precious little guy will be able to be united with his forever family, whichever one it ends up being, as soon as possible.
As far as what we're actually doing on the adoption front ... we've been filling out the paperwork for the home study. We haven't done it as quickly as we would have liked because we didn't know exactly what to put on there. Why are we wanting the home study? Well, to puruse the adoption from Ethiopia, but we didn't know whether to put anything about the other adoption or not ... and stuff like that. But we are hoping to be able to get all of our documents together to send to the home study agency by the end of the week. Please pray about that, too!
So that's the last month in our adoption journey in a very LARGE nutshell. I promise to keep you posted better from now on!
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