Waiting is NOT My Favorite Sport

Patience is a virtue ... so I'm told.  But it's not one I currently possess to a high degree unfortunately.

Yes.  It has been another month since I posted last.  No.  I will no longer make any promises about how often I'll post. :)  Apparently blogging is also not my favorite sport ... or at least not the one I'm best at.  I actually do really enjoy it.  But why haven't I posted??  Because nothing has happened.  Seriously.

OK, so maybe that's mostly how I feel and not 100% accurate.  I think I mentioned in my last blog that after the journey to ... not end up adopting this precious guy (let's call him P from now on), that we decided we were going to do a home study that would let us adopt not only a child from Ethiopia but one from here as well if God opens those doors.  It turns out that was not the simplest of endeavors, however.

I contacted our home study agency (this is different from our adoption agency - since the adoption agency is in another state we have to have a separate agency do the home study) to ask how we should go about doing the home study in order to allow us to adopt from Ethiopia and the U.S.

The response I received nearly made me cry.  I was told that they could not, in fact, do a home study for an adoption from Ethiopia.  WHAT??  I have already done a bunch of the paperwork ... including getting references sent to them!!  Besides that, they are one of the agencies that AGCI (our adoption agency - All God's Children Int.) has listed as a partner for their Texas clients.  Also, I called them when we were looking at agencies to do the home study and they told me that, yes, they could definitely help us in getting a home study for an Ethiopian adoption.

After picking myself up off the floor, I emailed her asking for advice on how to go about doing two separate home studies or if she knew if we COULD do just one that would work for both through someone else or any other help with this apparently very difficult situation.  To which she replied that, oops, Ethiopia isn't a part of the Hague agreement (an agreement put in place among several countries that is supposed to help protect children and adoptive parents) yet and so they could do it after all.  Whew!!

I also learned that what appeared would be the hardest part of doing this double-duty home study, getting medical exams that both countries would accept, actually was no problem at all.  Ethiopia accepts the same one as the U.S.  Hurray again!!

So things should be moving along swimmingly, right?  You would think.  But no.  I had high hopes that we would be able to send all of our paperwork back to Lubbock (that's where the home study agency is) with my sister when she went back after being here for the summer.  That was two weeks ago, and we haven't finished it yet.  There are so many little details, and life has definitely gotten in the way.  It seems to do that quite often.

So here we are with an almost-complete set of documents and a very limited amount of time to devote to completing it.  My hope is that this holiday weekend will be just the time we needed!

I guess I should backtrack just a bit and describe a little bit about the way we're going about this.  We decided not long after beginning the process of adopting, that we were going to trust God to provide the funds we need as we need them instead of raising the money first and then beginning.  We definitely don't have them right now!  It is a super-scary but exciting step of faith for us.  Bigger than anything else I've ever done for sure.

We had the option to do the home study first, do the final application to the adoption agency first, or do both at the same time.  We decided to do the home study first.  Because, for one, doing both at the same time would be HUGE and because we have the money for the home study, and as soon as we submit the final adoption application about 1/3 of the money will be due.  And that's way more than we have right now.  I know we won't have it all before we're ready to submit it, but since there was the possibility of just doing the home study first, we decided to do that.  And then God's just going to have to take care of the rest of the money when we are done with this part!  Just like He has so far.

Back to the home study ...  Besides not feeling like we've had the time to work on the paperwork, we also have another very messy obstacle in front of us.  A while back, we started moving our rooms around to make room for the baby.  We had the kids in one room, the office in another and the third was my craft room.  We've since consolidated the office and craft room into one and moved the kids into the bigger room.  We contemplated for about 15 minutes moving just one of them and letting the baby move in with Hayley ... actually this was when we were thinking we were adopting two and might move P in with Connor and the baby-est baby in with Hayley.  But we were informed that that was a completely unacceptable proposition by Sir Connor.  He does NOT want his own room, thank you!  Not even if only for a while.

So we're in the middle of a room-swap.  "The Baby's Room" as it is lovingly called around here is full of office stuff that hasn't found it's way into the new office and part of the stuff that we are selling on Craig's List/eBay for the adoption.  (Thank you to my wonderful sister and her sweet, sweet friend who have donated things for us to sell to raise money!)  Hopefully this weekend will also allow us a little time to work on that, too.  Do you think I might be expecting a bit much from this weekend?? :)

But we do need to get it done before we send in the paperwork because as soon as they receive it, we will be setting up a meeting with the social worker.  And currently the poor guy wouldn't be able to even step foot into the room to tell us what we need to fix to make it adequately baby-proofed.

Anyway, that's what has been going on ... or not going on ... around here.  And I'm not dealing very well with not having it done yet.  So, on a more serious note, if you would be willing to pray for us that we would see what we need to leave undone for a while in order to make the time we need to get the last few things done and have the focus we need as well to finish the paperwork and get the last room ready for inspection, that would be greatly appreciated!!

Coming soon sometime:  greater detail on the adoption process, fundraising, anything else that comes up.  And I'll be sure to let you know when we finally do have the paperwork done and the house ready for inspection!

A Heartbreak and a Praise

Oh ... what to write??

Well, we have been waiting on news about what happened at the meeting with the other couple's lawyer and hadn't gotten word.  And honestly I've been too chicken to call and ask ... until today.

So I got up the courage to call this morning.  She told me that the birth mother has decided for sure to give consent for him to be adopted.  A HUGE praise!!  She has been going back and forth about it for a while and finally decided it was the right thing and that she is ready to go ahead with it.

However ... the other couple is going ahead with the adoption.  I have no words to describe how deeply my heart is hurting.  I thought that  I had prepared myself for the fact that they were planning to adopt him.  But apparently I was wrong.  Maybe that's not something you can prepare yourself for.

I guess in the back of my mind I really thought they were going to back out.  If God told us we were supposed to pursue this adoption then, of course, He would show the other couple - who is also seeking His will - that it wasn't the right thing for them, right?  Wrong again!

I know that there are probably dozens things that could be reasons that God would have asked us to say "yes" to this when it seems He is not going to allow it to happen.  Maybe He just wanted to test our willingess to obey?  Maybe He wanted to work on our hearts?  THAT He has done for sure.  Maybe He wanted to use this to light a fire under us for getting all of our ducks in a row for our Ethiopian adoption even more quickly?  Maybe He was wanting to prepare us for something else He has in store?  (Maybe even another similar adoption.  We're continuing the home study in the more complicated way that will allow us to be able to adopt from Ethiopia and domestically ... just in case.)  Or maybe one of a myriad of other reasons we can't even imagine.  "For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways," declares the LORD.  "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and Mythoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9


What I do know is that I have been wondering for a while why lots of the things that I have been learning have been related to growing through the pain in our lives.  I guess God knew I was going to need that one, huh?  This is the second significant loss in my life in just over a month.


One thing I have learned for sure.  If there was ever any doubt in my mind whether I could love a child who didn't grow inside of me as much as I love my others (which I don't really think there was) there definitely isn't now.  I love this little guy so much, and I've never even met him ... just think if he had come to live with us for even a week.


On the one hand, I'm SO sad.  But on the other hand, I''m so happy for him that he's going to have a family that loves him and loves God.  I'm so happy that he will be in a home where he'll learn to love Jesus and grow up knowing that he is wanted and loved.  Both by his adoptive parents and by his birth mom who loves him enough to want to do what's best for him even though it's got to be so hard for her.


I could probably go on and on for a long time about how I'm feeling about this.  Just ask Cole (who's also so very sad), my sister, my mom and my dad who have all had to listen to me today.  - Ya'll are awesome, by the way! - But I'll spare you.  And honestly, this is about all the energy I've got left for today.


So ... please pray for this family, that God would work things out quickly for him to be able to go to his forever home as soon as possible.


And one last thing.  One of my new favorite songs is Forever Reign by Kristian Stanfill.  It came on while I was writing this, and it's definitely fitting in my life today.


The line that's most appropriate for today:


"Lord, I'm running to Your arms.  I'm running to Your arms.  The riches of Your love will always be enough.  Nothing compares to Your embrace."


God, please let this be true in me!

Please Pray!

So ... over a month later, here I am. And just as a warning, this post might be long enough to make up for the whole last month. Just know what you're getting yourself into!

I expected to write often and keep you guys up to date with everything that is going on. But then the unexpected happened. (What else could happen really? I really never know what will happen, do I? A lesson I hope to learn one day. Note to self: "The mind of man plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps." Prov 16:9)

Anyway, I haven't known what, if anything, I should write about this ... so I just haven't.

But I've decided that we really need the prayers of whoever would be willing to pray for us, so here goes:

The day that I posted last, a sweet missionary aunt - for those who might not know, we missionary kids refer to other missionaries as our aunts and uncles because they really do become our family - sent me a message. She told me she was praying for us, and she wanted to let me know about a baby boy in her church who needs to be adopted!

Over the past few months, I have been keeping up with one of my sister's friend's blogs. She's an amazing lady, and her story has been such an encouragement and a challenge to me. (You can find the link to her blog "God is Up to Something" in my blog list. And, yes, I shamelessly stole one of the videos I posted from her.) She and her family are in the process of adopting another little girl from China. And a while back she posted about another girl who needs to be adopted, asking people to pray that God would send her her forever family. Then a few days later, she posted again saying that she had found one ... theirs. Wow, God really does do the unexpected!

God has also really been at work in both of our hearts ever since Passion in April of this year. We've been very challenged by David Platt's "Radical" and Francis Chan's "Crazy Love." And He's been bringing us to a deeper understanding of what it means to surrender entirely to Him. (Though by no means would we claim to actually fully understand it or to do it well, but we're learning.)

When you combine those two things, I think God has been preparing our hearts to go after something unexpected ... like adopting a little boy who is not quite nine months younger than Hayley and is from here instead of from Ethiopia. Oh, and to be adopting two little ones instead of just one!

Anyway, I asked her for more information, and she sent me the phone number for the relative he's staying with. I called her the next day and learned about this precious little boy who has been growing in my heart ever since.

I talked to Cole about it, and we began to pray. And we've prayed and prayed for almost a whole month, not wanting to go ahead with it just because we wanted to, but only if this was really what God was wanting us to do.

And then last Saturday I told Cole that I really wanted to go ahead with it and that I believed it was what we were supposed to do, and he said he had been feeling the same way since the beginning of the week. What?? Really?? Yes, really! So I called baby boy's relative to tell her we wanted to start the process.

Have I mentioned that God likes to do the unexpected? Well, that's when I found out that there's another couple who is looking into adopting him. So for a week we have been praying that God would do whatever He has in store for this little guy. Whatever will be best for him and for both families. My heart is broken at the thought of maybe not getting to adopt him, but I know that maybe that's not what would be best. We continue to pray that if it is though, He would somehow work that out. Because we really want to!

Today is a very important day as this other couple meets with their lawyer. Please pray that God will show them what they should do. Whether to continue to pursue it or not. And please pray that God would take care of our hearts whatever the result may be. And most of all, please pay that this precious little guy will be able to be united with his forever family, whichever one it ends up being, as soon as possible.

As far as what we're actually doing on the adoption front ... we've been filling out the paperwork for the home study. We haven't done it as quickly as we would have liked because we didn't know exactly what to put on there. Why are we wanting the home study? Well, to puruse the adoption from Ethiopia, but we didn't know whether to put anything about the other adoption or not ... and stuff like that. But we are hoping to be able to get all of our documents together to send to the home study agency by the end of the week. Please pray about that, too!

So that's the last month in our adoption journey in a very LARGE nutshell. I promise to keep you posted better from now on!

We're Adopting!!

I've known for as long as I can remember that I wanted to adopt.  Why??  I don't really know.  I don't know why I wanted to when I was little at least - except for the fact that God has been preparing me for this amazing journey my whole life.

When Cole & I got married, he was open to the idea, but didn't really have a desire to adopt.  But over the years, God has changed that, and it has been such a fun thing to watch!  I have watched God take him from ... Yeah, it's a good thing.  And if God calls me to do it, I'm OK with it. ... to ... You know, maybe that is something we should do. ... to ... Yes. I want to adopt someday. ... to ... I believe that someday is coming soon. ... and now to ... I'm so excited about adopting a precious little baby!

We both know for sure that God is calling us to adopt a baby right now.  And it's SO exciting to be on the same page in this adventure!

The questions we get most often now that people are finding out that we're in the process of adopting a baby from Ethiopia are Why adopt? Why an international adoption? and Why from Ethiopia? So here are the answers we've got for those.

Why adopt? - Well, most importantly, because GOD said so!

But more than that, it's because we both believe there's no better way for us to live out what God has done for us.  The Gospel is all about adoption!  God adopted us and gave us a new name, a new life, a new inheritance, a new future.  We want to live that out in our own lives.  No, our adopting a child doesn't save them like God's adopting us saves us.  But it does give them those same things ... a new name, a new life, a new inheritance, and a new future.  We want to live it out as a picture of what God has done for us.

We also know that God is passionate about orphans.  "Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit widows and orphans in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world." (James 1:27)

Here is a video that I saw on a friend's blog that expresses this better than I can.

Why international?  - Again, because GOD said so.

We know that there are children all around us in the United States who need families.  It would be cheaper and probably faster.  And it is as important that they be adopted as orphans from anywhere else in the world.  But as we prayed about it, God made the answer clear to us.  OK, God, international it is.

Why Ethiopia?  You guessed it.  Because GOD said so.

I really don't have much better of an answer for that.  There are children all over the world who need families.  The estimate I keep seeing over and over is 147 million.  147,000,000!!

There are 4.8 million orphans in Ethiopia alone - 4.8 million children who need families to love them, who need education, who need medical care, and who need FOOD.  They need to learn of God's love for them!

When we did the initial application with our adoption agency, we put down three countries we most wanted to adopt from - Ethiopia, China & Taiwan.  When we got back from them the information about which countries we were best suited for, only Ethiopia was the same.  That was where my heart was already, and this was definitely confirmation for us that it was the country for us.  Ethiopia it is!

We're adopting through All God's Children International.  Here is a video from a family that adopted from Ethiopia through the same agency.  The orphanage you see in the video is the one where our baby is (or will be if he or she isn't born yet).  You might want to grab a Kleenex!  Enjoy!